Uniforms

There’s a small store a bit out of Cokeworth that sells school uniforms. Severus goes there with his mum every few years when his old, cheap uniform stops fitting and can’t be mended, and every year he begs his mother not to take him. 

He hates the ride over, he hates the dusty store shelves and the mean kids who laugh at him for hanging by the clearance rack and more than anything, he hates having to try on his uniform. 

The white polo shirt is itchy and thin, making his neck sweat uncomfortably and the blue pleated skirt is somehow worse. Its either too long or too short, and just looking at himself in it makes him want to pull out his hair. It looks wrong. It feels wrong. 

Every year. He begs his mum to get him the boy’s uniform instead, to save money, to hide his bruises, to keep him warm. So people stop looking at him like a girl. Every year, his mom tells him to leave it be, to let her worry about those things. That he loves lovely in his uniform.

The ride home makes him sick. The uniform makes him sick. His dad doesn’t understand why he’s so upset, he figures he’s just upset that summer’s ending. Severus suggests that he could go to public school with Lily instead of his normal run down catholic school and his dad laughs at him. Calls him his little girl.

He feels trapped.

There’s a store, a long way from Cokeworth, that sells school uniforms. It also sells fancy ball robes and day robes and shifts and things that Severus had never seen before. He has Lily by his side this time, his mum talking with another witch outside, when they meet Madam Malkin. She doesn’t even blink when he introduces himself as Severus, but doesn’t throw him out when they’re both measured for their robes. None of the other kids in the store seem to care.

He sticks by Lily while they wait inside, watching the door anxiously in case his mum comes in. He’s looked around the store, seen the different robes and dresses and only the occasional trousers, on the racks and otherwise. He doesn’t know what to expect their uniforms to look like. There must be some difference between the girl’s and boy’s robes, there always is. 

When the seamstress comes back with their robes in hand, they both rush up to see. He looks between his and Lily’s and sees no difference besides size.

“Um, mam?” He asks, heart sinking, “are these both the girls uniform?”

She looks at him so confused. “You are going to Hogwarts, right?” She looks at him until he has the sense to nod yes, “Well there is no girl’s or boy’s uniform. Just plain work robes.”

He doesn’t know what to say, but he holds onto to his robes tighter.

They try their robes on and he looks at Lily with a lump in his throat. they still look the same. He starts to feel the bars coming down around him, trapping him.

“Move, Mudbloods.”

some kid pushes them away, an older boy with long dark hair. He looks down at them like they’re trash on his boots, flicking his hair over his shoulder, but Severus can’t see it. He looks between the other boy and himself in the mirror and realizes they look the same.